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1.) Little girls walking through the store with their booties hanging out AND their dads are right there with them make my booty itch. Like, why are your booty cheeks winking at me. Highly irresponsible and gross. I do not want your booty crumbs attaching to me if I happen to sit somewhere that you just finished sitting in. No bueno.
This is EXACTLY what I saw, except it belonged to a 14 year old and she had a little more booty. #fasttailtrick
2.) I amazed myself today.
3.) People who have seen me and have worked out with me anywhere from 6-12 weeks ago that do not recognize me now are dorks. I cut my hair; I didn't put on a disguise. All Black women don't look alike. Get your eyes checked.
4.) My stomach is like a crazy ex...it just won't leave me alone.
My stomach holding on to me tight like I got the winning lottery numbers.
4.5.) I find it highly upsetting. Like, I'm out there working my cha-chas off. Literally...my boobs are noticeably smaller because I worked them off. My bras are baggy. Do you know how uncomfortable a too big bra is? And I won't go out and buy another because I suspect I'll have to do it again soon. So I'm stuck with baggy boobies floppin (yes, my girls no longer have any pep in their step) around in my too big bras. *le sigh* Très tragique.
If my tits drop it low like this AND I leave the house without a bra, I give you permission to shoot me.
Anyway, as I was saying, my stomach is sticking around like a crappy case of herpes. Gross. I look so silly working out with all of this stomach. It looks like I'm literally walking around with a pillow taped around my midsection. So stupid. Plus it gets in the way. Case in point: I'm trying to get my freak on with my boo, but I'm distracted because my big ol' fupa is hitting him before I do. G.R.O.S.S.
WTF? No comment.
4.75.) I think I shared too much, but the struggle is real y'all and I need you to know it. Take this pledge: "I will not let myself get fat". If you're already fat, take this pledge: "I will self-revoke my membership to #TeamChunk". Being fat is the worst. I'm sure that missing a leg or an eyeball would probably be worse, but I'm not sure how much worse it would be. If you're handicapped, people are nice to you and you get a cool parking spot at the front of the parking lot. It's like you get perpetual front of the line privileges. If you're fat, you're just fat and folks look at you with disdain. Don't be fat and try to sit on a plane; the other passengers will act as if they'd rather have an Al Qaeda terrorist sitting next to them than a chunky monkey.
Life ain't easy in these fat streets.
5.) Last random thought diary entry: I gotta brag about my workout today. I motivated someone else to do better and be better. That's an awesome feeling. I am typically the biggest girl in the gym, but I stay rockin' it. Now, I won't front, there are time when my lungs just say "Fuck this shit. I QUIT!", but I usually convince them to start working again and allow oxygen to enter back into my body. Knowing you can motivate someone to do more is a great feeling. It means that you are KILLIN' it and have shamed them into getting with the program. So, if you need motivation to get into the gym...there it is; you can go to motivate someone else.
