The Fatty to Phatty Monologues: Chicken. It's what's for dinner...as well as breakfast and lunch. *yuck*

In any event, because fried chicken is delicious, it is a no-no when it comes to healthy, clean living so you're going to have to find a new way to cook your chicken. I mention chicken because it is a great all-around protein. According to the USDA, just 5oz of chicken breast packs in 43g of protein. 43 grams of protein!!! That's a lot of protein when you think about how much you have to eat per day. You could also do turkey, but turkey is only good for holidays and even then, ain't nobody really trying to see that dried out bird...much like Rachel Dolezal. It's basically there out of tradition and for decoration...much like Rachel Dolezal's hair.

Below, I've posted a chart advising how much protein you should ingest. Of course, I highly recommend you talk to your doctor, dietitian or get your certified doctorate degree from the University of Google. Yahoo State University or Bing College are fine institutions as well.

Person, Situation & Goals	Ideal Daily Protein Intake
Average healthy sedentary adult (male or female) that does NOT work out or have any related goals. This is just what I consider to be a good minimum daily protein intake for general health/function.	0.5-0.7 grams of protein per pound of body weight.
Average healthy adult (male or female) that IS doing some form of exercise regularly or IS trying to improve their body (lose fat, build muscle, etc.). This is the minimum I’d recommend in this case.	0.8-1 grams of protein per pound of body weight.
Average healthy adult FEMALE whose primary goal is building muscle, getting “toned,” maintaining muscle while losing fat, increasing strength or improving performance.	1-1.2 grams of protein per pound of body weight.
Average healthy adult MALE whose primary goal is building muscle, getting “toned,” maintaining muscle while losing fat, increasing strength or improving performance.	1-1.5 grams of protein per pound of body weight.

So, if you are unable to figure out this chart, just multiply your current body weight in pounds by the recommended ideal protein intake. If you passed elementary math, and I truly hope you did, then the answer you get should be the ideal range for how many grams of protein you should eat per day AND it should be less than what you currently weigh...unless you're bulking. If you're cutting, the number in grams should be less than the number in pounds. I hope that makes sense. If it doesn't, re-read it until it does.

I have to mention something else: if you are obese like me, you probably should not be ingesting that much protein. For me, that would be 274g of protein in a day, at least (based on my current activity level). That's a lot of damn chicken and as I stated before, I do not enjoy chicken.

Anyway, so how much protein should I eat? Well, I could always estimate down or I could base my calculation off of the weight I'd like to be. I'd like to be somewhere between 150lbs to180 lbs, but I haven't seen 150 since Shai was a thing and Domino was something other than a game and pizza place. If you can correctly identify those two entities, then you know that was a LOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG time ago.

In any event, I gave you some info, you can take it, leave it or put it in your back pocket for later use. Just remember to take it out before you throw them pants in the wash.

The next question is: How do I get in that much protein? For me, I eat chicken for all of my major meals. I don't always get the full 4 oz in, but I try. I also supplement with a quality protein powder for in between meals and post-workout nutrition. Currently, I mix 1 scoop of Dymatize Iso-100 with about 9 oz of water for my snacks, bedtime meal and post-workout drink. There's 25g of protein in each scoop. At a minimum, that's an additional 50g of protein; at max 75 grams. Add that to the 129g from the chicken and I'm up to 179g-204g of protein per day. Not to mention if I sneak in a few almonds, almond butter (something you all should become intimate with) or Greek yogurt, it's easy to get to your goal.

But what if you REALLY ain't trying to see chicken like that. Maybe you want some eggs for breakfast. I'd say eat 1 egg with 3 egg whites. The yolk has the fat, the whites hold the protein. 1 large egg white has 3.6g of protein and an entire egg has 6.28g. That little omelet would hold around 17g of protein. For me, that's such a small amount as to not even make it worth eating.

There are other protein options out there, but if you are limiting fat, chicken is the way to go. Pork is absolutely out of the question. As in, if pork were a person, it would be on the no-fly list. Just let that go.

You can do a lot of fish, but stick with your white fishes like Tilapia, Swai or Cod. As far as I'm concerned, fish is in the same category as chicken; it should only be fried and it should always be Red Snapper...with Red Rooster hot sauce. So delish, but so bad. Much like that Pimp named Caramel.

Beef is another option to get your protein, but is something to eat only occasionally. And it should also probably be sirloin. Much like turkey, no one is trying to holla at sirloin unless it's being a ho and letting butter and/or bacon hit it. If you're eating that unholy trinity then there's no point in you continuing to read this blog unless it's for grins and giggles. What does that mean? Just swerve beef.

Another option is shellfish. It's so tasty. So delicious. Very low in fat, but so high in cholesterol.

That's a lot of doggone cholesterol. So much that you'd need to eat a ton of oatmeal to help scrub your arteries clean. Oatmeal is good, but the amount you would need to counteract all of that cholesterol is bad. Why? Because carbs. There's no way you will be able to burn off all of those carbs and they will turn into glucose and that unused glucose will turn into fat. So counterproductive.

Lastly, you can do beans, but you need to eat a lot of them to give you a good protein shot. All of those beans also contain carbs and once again, too many carbs turn into glucose and that glucose turns into jelly. I already have too much jelly and I'm not ready for any more.

Well, I hope I've been of assistance. And if I wasn't, then I hope you got a good chuckle. Deuces y'all.